She Walks Ahead of Me

She walks ahead of me, motioning for me to keep up. She is happy and excited and wants to show me what she’s found. I love the way she gets stoked by the little things most of us overlook, like chanterelle mushrooms, wolf spiders, and the various shades of wildflowers which come and go quickly each spring. Today she’s found a sky-blue beach rock hiding in a bed of weeds. She doesn’t want to disturb it. Its soft hue and silky-smooth surface would tempt some to boost it and display it on a shelf at home but not this naturist. She would never dream of disturbing such a work of art or removing it from its home. She is kind and has vowed to leave tiny footprints here on the earth.

When she shows me what she’s found, she asks, “Isn’t it beautiful?” Its color reminds me of the color of her eyes. I agree it’s exquisite. She tells me it would make a lovely necklace, but she’s glad it’s tucked away and safe. I watch as she smiles, breathes in, and stores away this memory for a rainy day.

I can’t describe the way I feel when I am with her. She is happy when I tag along, and watching her enjoy life so makes me glad we have found each other.

Hellos and Goodbyes

Dear C,

I was traveling in the darkness before dawn, driving west, away from you. The mile markers between us continued to grow. A feeling of hopelessness washed over me, like the lights had been turned out on our love. Sleet fell, casting an ominous pallor across my windshield. I felt lost, disoriented by a direction that no longer feels right. For a moment I wondered whether the pain of our repeated separations would ever reconcile with the joy of our reunions. The two are constantly at odds. The uplifting highs of being together are countered by the disheartening lows of going solo. How do I find balance between the two? I see you, and I’m on top of the world. We say our goodbyes, and I sink into despair.

I was lost in this place of despair for hours, and then something simple but amazing happened: morning.  I looked east and saw a rural airport beneath a heavenly sky. My spirits rose, and I found peace in the clouds. In the light of day I saw myself heading toward you, not away. Keeping faith, I am confident our hellos and goodbyes will one day merge and find a home under a single roof.

Faithfully yours, your darling. xx